


Pick Me Up and I'll Put You Down

by desertredwolf



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, F/M, Hogwarts, Humor, Pick-Up Lines, Slytherin, Slytherins Being Slytherins, The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-21 22:37:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11367057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desertredwolf/pseuds/desertredwolf
Summary: Draco is determined to prove that he is capable of dating Pansy, but his lines are not as smooth as he thinks... Oneshot. Won the NOTP Pick-up Lines Mini Comp at the QLFC.





	Pick Me Up and I'll Put You Down

“ _Parkinson_? Seriously, Malfoy?”

Laughter mockingly rang in his ears and eleven-year-old Draco Malfoy glared at Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott. The reason for this uncalled for — in Draco’s opinion — reaction? He had just announced to the two other boys that his father had granted him approval to date Pansy Parkinson.

“Shouldn’t you first … oh, I don’t know … _ask_ her what she thinks about this?” Blaise drawled. Theo coughed suspiciously and Draco leveled the full force his glare at the boy.

“Something you want to share, Theo?” Draco asked. The boy in question glanced at Blaise. After a moment, Blaise shrugged.

“You want to take this, Theo?” he asked in a resigned tone. Theo nodded in response.

“Draco,” the smaller boy began hesitantly, “not only have you never shown her any interest prior to this, but you are too young to date or court. Besides, I doubt you even know how to pick up a girl—”

“My father says the minute a Malfoy steps foot into Hogwarts, he is a man!” Draco irately interrupted the other boy. “I’m ready to date Pansy! And all that it entails!”

For whatever reason, Blaise and Theo collapsed once again in a fit of laughter. Their mirth continued for another minute, while Draco grew more furious by the second.

How dare they doubt him!

“I’ll have you know,” Draco snapped, bristling at their lingering sniggers, “that I am more than capable of dating Pansy! Just watch!” And with that he turned on his heel, storming out the door and into the Slytherin Common Room. He looked around and quickly found his quarry.

“Pansy,” he said in a rushed greeting, approaching the table where she sat with Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis. “How are you?”

Without waiting for her reply, he glanced at the parchment in front of her.

“Oh, Astronomy homework?” he stated. “Do you need help learning the material? Because I can show you how the stars have said we’re destined to be.”

.oOo.

Draco awoke to find himself flat on his back in the middle of the Common Room. His whole body ached from whatever hex had hit him; but it didn’t nearly hurt as much as his pride. Laughter viciously swirled around him. He quickly sat up to find himself staring down the end of Pansy’s wand.

“I’m not interested,” she spat, “in someone who doesn’t know that _Divination_ is the subject that predicts the future — _not_ Astronomy!” With one final glare, she spun around and disappeared into the girl’s dorm.

Draco stared at her retreating form in shock. How did that go so wrong?

“Aw, Malfoy, it’s okay,” a voice said next to him. Draco looked up to see Blaise, eyes watering in barely restrained mirth, standing at his side. “I think she likes you.”

Draco stared at him in complete confusion.

“Huh?” he finally managed.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt (Daily Prophet Mini Comp — Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition): We all know Muggles cannot conjure a love potion to capture and ensnare one's interest, so why don't we help them bewitch their potential mates? How? By using our talented tongues and poetic prowess in the art of Harry Potter inspired pickup lines, of course! You may enter a minimum of 1 and maximum of 5 pickup lines per person, rated no higher than 'T.' You will then use these pickup lines to write one small drabble of 300–600 words, using one of your team mate's NOTPs.
> 
> NOTP: Draco Malfoy/Pansy Parkinson
> 
> Pick-up Line: “Oh, Astronomy homework? Do you need help learning the material? Because I can show you how the stars have said we’re destined to be.”
> 
> Word count (not including title and author’s notes): 480 (Google Docs)


End file.
